i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
