Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
