Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
