you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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