oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Randomize