is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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