ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
a search helicopter?!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
