True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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