Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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