So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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