week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize