Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
