I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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