I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
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He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
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Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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