its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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