he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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