Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
