apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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