I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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