My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
