Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
