I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
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