Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize