i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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