Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
