My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Success! We fucked roommates!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
