how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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