Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize