i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize