I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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