There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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