Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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