His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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