i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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