so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
