I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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