Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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