I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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