I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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