There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Hippo gnu deer
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
