Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
