you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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