Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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