I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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