apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so let's talk penis.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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