I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
