btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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