My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
