Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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