You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
