then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
