I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
