There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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