she smelled like a LAN party
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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