I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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