I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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