I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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