got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
