i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
