Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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