i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
