Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
