then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
