drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
