nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
