where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
ugly people sure do ruin things
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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