well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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