Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize